So I had this old tooth
this old rotten tooth
that had a temporary filling
from when I got a root canal
so long ago, I don't even remember
when or where
and so bad that a
recent visit to the dentist caused her to ask
if it was even done in the united states
Anyway, this filling
this temporary filling
a crude patch-job for an even
cruder attempt to rid my mouth of
infection
stayed with me for over a
decade
at least
and all around it, my tooth
continued to rot
to the point where it looked like
it was just a sad stack
of filling material
with some desperate remnants of decayed dentin
holding it up
Yeah, I thought
one of these days I'll fix it
Last month I saw a dentist
for a completely different tooth
an even older silver filling
(which we all know isn't really silver,
it's amalgam)
that broke when I bit into a tortilla chip
While I sat in the dentist's chair
she noticed the decayed tooth
she asked about it
was it bothering me?
It's a little sore, I said
but no big deal
She made a face
and took an x-ray
then made the crack about my
having it done overseas
Nope, I said
Well, she said
it has to come out
She wanted me to see an oral
surgeon, but I was like:
I'm leaving for Paris in a week.
Fuck that.
I arrived in Paris, jaw throbbing
and went right to the dentist
yes,
overseas.
Oh, the irony.
He grunted and cursed
driving down on my jaw
grabbing larger and larger pairs
of pliers
ugh
merde!
o la la
he broke my tooth into tiny pieces
one by one he added them to his tray
and finally when I almost thought
he would break my skull,
it was out
This tooth, you see, was a
metaphor
this tooth was my rotten past
that I refused to let go of
my denial
a temporary filling to dress
the wounds of my psyche
breaking it apart
and pulling it out
as I howled
was my shadow work
(Paris, France)
